what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
