There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
