You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
