i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
