I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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