Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
