i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
