What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
