where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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