I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Randomize
