But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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