I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
