She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
