HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
