it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize