my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
