As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
my poor anus
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
