My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
