I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
