Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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