He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
