New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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