3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
