she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
