Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Randomize
