After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
