he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
