me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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