I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
