i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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