well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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