Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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