If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize