Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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