Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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