Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
