naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
