this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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