let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
