did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
