What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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