This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
