i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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