Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
