i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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