I'm eating all of the evidence.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
