Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How external is "for external use only"?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I am naked and annoyed.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize