I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
