I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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