I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
