spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
