i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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