Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
