dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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