kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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