you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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