I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
