I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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