I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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