thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
