god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
ok first of all what the fuck
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
