This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
