Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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