Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
